show me the love.

when i was a little girl, signing valentine's cards was done very carefully. i would read what the card said and made sure it was accurate for the classmate i was giving it to~ especially the boys! i would never want a "my heart belongs to you, valentine." to go to a boy that would get the wrong idea! instead i'd send some sort of "your tops." or "sweet." generic card.
then, when i recieved my cards, i would check what they said and assume that everyone chose them just for me. sometimes, i would be excited that someone sent "you're the greatest friend." or "i can't bear to be without you." and certainly if a nice boy sent one of those, i later paid more attention to him.

then i watched my boys fill their cards out for their, they don't pay attention to any of it. they just sign away, making sure to get everyone on their lists done. with nic, no one got preferential treatment. if he made a mistake, he just crossed out the name and wrote it out to the side. he gave big cards to kids he doesn't play with and crooked cards to his little buddies. oliver wondered if the girls in his class would really want batman cards. but i assured them they would be sending him barbie, hello kitty, and other assorted pink cards.
and i thought to myself, they might also really read what each card says and believe you meant it.
and then i just laughed at that little girl i once was.

later that night, i was at the grocery store and i happened to notice a few men valentine shopping in the same way my boys were filling out their cards. "oh, there is a rose, oh, throw in a balloon, and here is a card...not sure what it says, but looks good enough."
i came home and told b, "please don't just go out the night before valentines and just get something..."
i'd rather not be an afterthought or an obligation.
and really, i'm just okay with this holiday not being celebrated between brian and i. i don't need it~ this year. ;) sometimes we need any extra effort we can give to our marriage, but we're good right now. and i'll just let the kids swim in the hearts, sweets, and reds.
i'm happy with that... and look forward to the other 364 days of the year that i get to be with brian.
and that is just the girl i now am.

happy valentine's day everyone!!